Pssst it’s Snickers, Oh do I have a tale to tell you!
It started off innocent enough.
My human went shopping and found a fresh cat nip plant and purchased it thinking it would be a nice diversion. Well I have to say, a nice diversion indeed!
From the first munch my world got swirly, my head feels ohhh soooo gooood, too good.
Ohhh, I loooove my cat nip! I love to roll in it, I love to eat it! Did I mention how much I love it?
I returned to my plant again and again and again, wanting to keep that feeling, that goooood feeling.
I didn’t notice the leaves disappearing, I had no idea there would be an end.
Before I knew it all I had was stalks! The good feeling is disappearing! What do I do?
I know mom and dad keep a stash of dry cat nip in the cabinet. I thought maybe if I look toward the cabinet with a sad look and a few pathetic meows maybe I can score some.
No luck, she only speaks English! Ugh
It’s late at night and I can’t stand it, I have to have my nip! Maybe I can get some from the cabinet. Oh it’s so high up, and they keep it on the top shelf!
That’s when I had a brillant idea! From the floor to the countertop in one fluid leap. Then from the countertop to the top of the frig and a quick hop to the top of the cabinets. I’ve done that so many times I could do it in my sleep! Carefully and quietly I pried open the cabinet, and there it was the can of dried glorious goodness. I reached down and caught the top with my claw and down it fell hitting the counter on the way down smashing the canister and spilling catnip all over the floor. Oh glorious day, luck was on my side. I jumped down and began to roll; I rolled and rolled and ate and ate some more peering down the hall occassionaly to make sure everyone was still asleep.
My head started to feel good but not a good as the fresh stuff; I needed the real deal. All I can do is sleep, the feeling is fading but the memory remains, maybe lady luck will return tomorrow.
The next morning lady luck did return. mom went out to the freezer on the porch. As she was rummaging around I snuck out and quietly slipped over the edge. If what I sought wasn’t in the house, maybe it was outside.
I was wandered aimlessly for what felt like hours, until I was so hot and tired and a bit sorry I had left home. I decided to take a nap under a bush. I was dreaming a sweet dream of when my catnip plant had lots of lush leaves when I heard this voice.
I jumped straight up back arched, I had no idea if it was friend or foe.
I opened one eye and discoverd the voice came from a big tom cat that looked pretty rough around the edges if you know what I mean; parts of a tail and ear missing and fur clumped and matted, he had obviouly been around.
“I just want to know what your deal is, obviously you’re not from the streets”
I explained what I was looking for a nip high.
“Oh that’s no problem, but what do I get from the deal? Do you hunt?”
I shook my head “I guess I can try, I’ll be back”
My first attempt wasn’t too bad. I snagged a grasshopper without too much effort
“Man this is easy” I thought “I’ll have my nip in no time!”
When I returned and dropped the grasshopper at the tom cat’s feet he looked disappointed.
“Is this it, this is all you brought to fill my stomach? This is a mere snack! Bring me something substantial and I’ll show you where you can find you’re nip”
“Like what?” I asked
“It has to be something to fill my belly; bring me a rat, bird or a rabbit and you have a deal”
My head was spinning I never had to actually hunt for my dinner, all I had to do is yell at mom or dad and they gave me what I wanted.
So off I went, and soon I saw a rabbit at the edge of the woods. I sprung into action chasing it left, chasing it right until…. it vanished. “What the heck” I thought.
I looked around and there was a robin pecking at a worm in the grass. “I got this” I thought. I crouched low like mom used to show us, focused my eyes on it, and sprung! Only to have it fly away. “I guess I’m not really a hunter” I thought dejectedly.
Just then a chipmunk scurried by. I made my move and trapped it under my paw.
“Ah ha! I am a hunter afterall!” I pick it up by the neck and carry it back to the old tom cat.
He simply shook his head, and the look on his face said “Better luck next time” as he walked away.
I couldn’t believe it, I felt so betrayed! My draw dropped in disbelief; and the chipmunk scurried away, thankful for another chance at life.
By this time it was getting late and I figured I’d better get home. I walked back to the porch and meow loudly hoping someone was home. It didn’t take long before the slider flew open and mom and dad came running out so happy to see me.
The hugged me and cooed at me (it was pathetic) but I was home.
From that point on I decided that that was enough!
Mom and dad carried me back in to the house and gave me canned cat food, and let me tell you it NEVER tasted so good. I played with my toys and then I jumped up on the bed and I slept the best, most peacful sleep; and I dreamt about chasing moths and flies.
No more nip for me!